Post by brooder on Nov 30, 2011 20:02:11 GMT -6
Same story as told from the CofH boards...
Here's my backstory. If you get a chuckle out of it, good. If you think I'm weird, meh.
There was a radical left wing revolution afoot in the frozen lands of Khador. A great man, who is best known for wearing emo glasses and being a all around sexy jerk, made great speeches at beer halls and pubs and the masses listened. His man, known to his people simply as "Brooder", promised his fellow proletariats equal rights and a constitutional democracy all formed from a Duma, which was a elected governmental body not unlike US Congress (but with more booze, whores, and epic mustaches). His followers protested the ruling bourgeoisie and absolute monarchy. Drunk on power (and vanallia flavored Smiroff mixed with orange pop. It's freaking delicious) Brooder formed a secret police known as the Red Chekists to take out anyone involved with the established monarchy. After the royal family was... taken care of... in some guy's basement, Brooder decreed to the masses "haha suck it bitches, I rule now, and that's the bottom line, because Brooder says so" to their great cheers. As rock music played, Brooder made some pro wrestling like taughts before he left the stage in dramatic fashion. Some girls fainted because they were overwhelmed with lust.
Despite this, some where not happy with this new form of dictatorship, because they lost all their property or some stupid crap. Those who were part of the white royalists side were exiled to North Dakota because most people thought they were whiney.
Anywhos, Brooder is now Premier of Khador. Yey! He wrote a constitution, but because of his possible dyslexia and his english teacher was some cheesehead named Bo, it was filled with grammatical and spelling errors, and was not implimated until many years later. But in the meantime, he basically did what he was good at it, which was partying and rocking out HARD. He made sword fighting the official sport of Khador, and although he dreams of being one of the best sword fighters of all time, he's just okay at it. He also once high fived a man named Porthos, which made him a instant celebrity and billionaire within Khador. Because of this instant fame, he would later father like 300 babies, because he's straight up pimp and everyone knew it. It was also reported that he once shook a man by the name of Corosis's hand and he never washed it again. Brooder's personal staff made great sacrafices for him without asking anything in return. Jorel, his personal chef, would cook for Brooder 21 hours everyday until Brooder was satisfied with his meal. Brooder also adopted a dog and named him Tulio, and they were best friendz 4everz!!!!1!, despite how hard it was to housetrain Tulio.
After a while, he gave his realm up to a trusted friend named Kracken. When asked why he would give up so much without asking anything in return, he humbly replied, "meh." He then jumped into his Indy 500 race car and drove off into the sunset. Over 50 million girls cried and refused to get married in hopes of one day he would return, but he never did. THE END.
Here's my backstory. If you get a chuckle out of it, good. If you think I'm weird, meh.
There was a radical left wing revolution afoot in the frozen lands of Khador. A great man, who is best known for wearing emo glasses and being a all around sexy jerk, made great speeches at beer halls and pubs and the masses listened. His man, known to his people simply as "Brooder", promised his fellow proletariats equal rights and a constitutional democracy all formed from a Duma, which was a elected governmental body not unlike US Congress (but with more booze, whores, and epic mustaches). His followers protested the ruling bourgeoisie and absolute monarchy. Drunk on power (and vanallia flavored Smiroff mixed with orange pop. It's freaking delicious) Brooder formed a secret police known as the Red Chekists to take out anyone involved with the established monarchy. After the royal family was... taken care of... in some guy's basement, Brooder decreed to the masses "haha suck it bitches, I rule now, and that's the bottom line, because Brooder says so" to their great cheers. As rock music played, Brooder made some pro wrestling like taughts before he left the stage in dramatic fashion. Some girls fainted because they were overwhelmed with lust.
Despite this, some where not happy with this new form of dictatorship, because they lost all their property or some stupid crap. Those who were part of the white royalists side were exiled to North Dakota because most people thought they were whiney.
Anywhos, Brooder is now Premier of Khador. Yey! He wrote a constitution, but because of his possible dyslexia and his english teacher was some cheesehead named Bo, it was filled with grammatical and spelling errors, and was not implimated until many years later. But in the meantime, he basically did what he was good at it, which was partying and rocking out HARD. He made sword fighting the official sport of Khador, and although he dreams of being one of the best sword fighters of all time, he's just okay at it. He also once high fived a man named Porthos, which made him a instant celebrity and billionaire within Khador. Because of this instant fame, he would later father like 300 babies, because he's straight up pimp and everyone knew it. It was also reported that he once shook a man by the name of Corosis's hand and he never washed it again. Brooder's personal staff made great sacrafices for him without asking anything in return. Jorel, his personal chef, would cook for Brooder 21 hours everyday until Brooder was satisfied with his meal. Brooder also adopted a dog and named him Tulio, and they were best friendz 4everz!!!!1!, despite how hard it was to housetrain Tulio.
After a while, he gave his realm up to a trusted friend named Kracken. When asked why he would give up so much without asking anything in return, he humbly replied, "meh." He then jumped into his Indy 500 race car and drove off into the sunset. Over 50 million girls cried and refused to get married in hopes of one day he would return, but he never did. THE END.